Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 0446563536
Format: PDF, ePub
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WHAT . . . A RIOT! Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the #1 bestselling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood. Family moments are fair game, whether it's writing a report on Reaganomics to earn a Cabbage Patch doll, or teaching her father social graces by ordering him to stay indoors. It's open season on her love life, from playing a prank on her boyfriend (using a ravioli, a fake autopsy, and the Santa Monica pier) to adopting a dog so she can snuggle with someone who doesn't talk. And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, CHELSEA CHELSEA BANG BANG is good good good good! CHELSEA HANDLER ON... Being unpopular: "My parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy." Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up." Appreciating her brother: "He's a certified public accountant, and I have a real life." Arm-wrestling a maid of honor: "It wasn't her strength that intimidated me. It was the starry way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed."

Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me

Author: and Other Victims Chelsea's Family
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 1455504653
Format: PDF
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"My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate."--Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness," the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers--they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.

You re Nose Is in My Crotch and Other Things You Shouldn t Know about Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

Author: Oliver Brock
Publisher: Lennex
ISBN: 9785458983822
Format: PDF, Mobi
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In this book, we have hand-picked the most sophisticated, unanticipated, absorbing (if not at times crackpot!), original and musing book reviews of "Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang." Don't say we didn't warn you: these reviews are known to shock with their unconventionality or intimacy. Some may be startled by their biting sincerity; others may be spellbound by their unbridled flights of fantasy. Don't buy this book if: 1. You don't have nerves of steel. 2. You expect to get pregnant in the next five minutes. 3. You've heard it all.

Biography of Chelsea Handler

Author: Jeff Mudd
Publisher: Hyperink Inc
ISBN: 1614641994
Format: PDF, Docs
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ABOUT THE BOOK She jokes. She writes. She acts. She hosts. She produces. Is she a budding tycoon? A whirling typhoon? Well, yes and yes. Chelsea Handler is at once a sexy, sharp-tongued comic, a highly-rated television host, a best-selling author, and, of late, a sitcom actress playing her own sister. Despite her self-deprecating humor and surgical skewering of all-things-celebrity, she has become a bonafide superstar in her own right. On the tube, the shelves, the stage, and the tabloids, the blonde beauty is seemingly everywhere. Compared to Handler, Ryan Seacrest is a couch potato. MEET THE AUTHOR Jeff Mudd has been writing since the age of 10, taking second place in a statewide short-story contest with his tale of a down-on-his-luck cowboy named The Loan Ranger and his trusty horse, Tin Foil. A journalism graduate and lifelong sports enthusiast, he is married with three children. EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK Voila, The Chelsea Handler Show was born. The variety format allowed the versatile comic to juggle stand-up bits, offbeat sketches and taped shorts on a weekly basis. But the production was costly, and after two years the show evolved into the current day “Chelsea Lately.” The latter’s daily format allows Handler, along with three comedic panelists and a celebrity guest cameo, to chew on and spit out whatever entertainment topic or dansel du jour that may flash before her. Handler shares the stage and spreads the jokes, but make no mistake - she is definitely the queen of the roost. "I never really saw that coming," she said in Marie Claire. "I didn't become a comedian to work this hard. But Ted was saying, 'You need your own show. You have such a strong point of view.' But the only way I was going to be on E! was if I could make fun of E! and everyone on those shows. I thought, That would be a great job." Buy a copy to keep reading!

Das schwere Los der Leichtigkeit

Author: Portia de Rossi
Publisher: MVG Verlag
ISBN: 3864151783
Format: PDF, Mobi
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Portia de Rossi wog nur noch 38 Kilogramm, als sie am Set einer Hollywood-Produktion zusammenbrach. Nach außen hin war sie blond, schlank und schön, glamourös und erfolgreich. Doch innerlich war sie fast tot. Sie beschreibt unaufgeregt und eindringlich, wie der Druck Hollywoods, dünn zu sein, in Kombination mit ihrer geheim gehaltenen Homosexualität dazu führte, dass sie sich in ihrer Haut nie wohlfühlte und immer tiefer in die Magersucht hineinrutschte. Das Abnehmen wurde für sie zur einzigen Möglichkeit, Macht und Kontrolle über ihr Leben zu haben, bis es zu einer Krankheit wurde, die sie beinahe tötete und ihre Familie zerstörte. In ungewöhnlich offenen, mutigen Worten erzählt de Rossi mit erzählerischem Feingefühl ihre Geschichte und lässt uns tief in ihre Seele und ihr Leben als Hollywoodstar blicken. Sie lässt uns die verquere Logik ihres täglichen Strebens nach Perfektion verstehen und die Anstrengung wertschätzen, die sie zur Überwindung ihrer Probleme aufwenden musste. Eine erschreckende und zugleich hoffnungsvolle Geschichte für alle, die auf Kriegsfuß mit sich selbst oder ihrem Körper stehen.

My Horizontal Life

Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 1455577529
Format: PDF, Docs
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In this raucous collection of true-life stories, Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand. You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool. Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.

Kill Your Friends

Author: John Niven
Publisher: Heyne Verlag
ISBN: 3641136202
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
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So wahr mir Mord helfe Erfolg um jeden Preis. Steven Stelfox ist A&R-Manager in einer großen Plattenfirma, immer auf der Suche nach dem nächsten Hit, immer am oberen Level. Doch als die Erfolge ausbleiben, greift er zu radikalen Mitteln. Plötzlich verwandeln sich die guten Freunde in Todfeinde. In einer Welt, in der sich die Protagonisten krampfhaft über Sex, Drugs & Rock ’n’ Roll definieren, gerät sein Leben zunehmend außer Kontrolle. Die Folgen sind verheerend. • Der ultimative Roman zum Untergang der Musikindustrie • Der Autor war selbst jahrelang als A&R-Manager tätig • Endlich ein Kultroman, der das Prädikat verdient