Dance of the Reptiles

Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publisher: Vintage
ISBN: 0345807030
Format: PDF, ePub
Download Now
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER If you think the wildest, wackiest stories that Carl Hiaasen can tell have all made it into his hilarious, bestselling novels, think again. Dance of the Reptiles collects the best of Hiaasen’s Miami Herald columns, which lay bare the stories--large and small--that demonstrate anew that truth is far stranger than fiction. Hiaasen offers his commentary—indignant, disbelieving, sometimes righteously angry, and frequently hilarious—on burning issues like animal welfare, polluted rivers, and the broken criminal justice system as well as the Deepwater Horizon oil spill, Bernie Madoff's trial, and the shenanigans of the recent presidential elections. Whether or not you have read Carl Hiaasen before, you are in for a wild ride. From the Trade Paperback edition.

Lucky You

Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publisher: Vintage Crime/Black Lizard
ISBN: 0307767434
Format: PDF, Kindle
Download Now
Grange, Florida, is, famous for its miracles-the weeping fiberglass Madonna, the Road-Stain Jesus, the stigmata man. And now it has JoLayne Lucks, unlikely winner of the state lottery. Unfortunately, JoLayne's winning ticket isn't the only one. The other belongs to Bodean Gazzer and his raunchy sidekick, Chub, who want the whole $28 million jackpot to start their own underground militia. But JoLayne Lucks has her own plans for the Lotto money, and when Bode and Chub brutally assault her and steal her ticket, she vows to track them down, take it back-and get revenge. The only one who can help is Tom Krome, a big-city investigative journalist now writing frothy features for a mid-sized newspaper. He is about to become part of a story that's bigger and more bizarre than anything he's ever covered. Chasing two heavily armed psychopaths is reckless enough, but Tom's got other problems-including his fugitive wife and his own growing fondness for the future millionairess with whom he's risking his neck. The pursuit takes them to a buzzard-infested island deep in Florida Bay, where they finally catch up with the fledgling militia-and their baffled hostage, a Hooters waitress. The climax explodes with the hilarious mayhem that is Carl Hiaasen's hallmark. Lucky You is his funniest, most deliriously gripping novel yet. BONUS: This edition includes an excerpt from Carl Hiaasen's Bad Monkey.

Andy Rooney

Author: Andy Rooney
Publisher: Public Affairs
ISBN: 1586489038
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
Download Now
The "60 Minutes" commentator brings together his greatest pieces of writing spanning a half-century.

Basket Case

Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publisher: Vintage Books
ISBN: 0345806530
Format: PDF, Kindle
Download Now
Once a hotshot investigative reporter, middle-aged Jack Tagger now bangs out obituaries for a South Florida daily. When Jimmy Stoma, the infamous front man of Jimmy and the Slut Puppies, dies in a diving "accident, " Jack uses clues from the singer's own music to unravel the mystery and resurrect his career in the process.

The Brain Eater s Bible

Author: Pat Kilbane
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 9781466828018
Format: PDF, Docs
Download Now
The Brain Eater’s Bible by J.D. Ghoul with Pat Kilbane is a field manual and manifesto—in the vein of Max Brooks's bestselling The Zombie Survival Guide—for the reanimated dead. "What is wrong with me?!" That's what you're thinking, isn't it? You woke up in a drainage ditch covered with skin ulcerations and nasty flesh wounds. Your body is numb and your memory is foggy. Someone tried to give you medical attention, but you repaid their kindness by savagely killing them and eating their brains. You are a zombie my friend, just like me. Though most zombies are slow and stupid, the fact that you are reading this tells me that you are different. Some of us are. Welcome to the PACE virus apocalypse.

Sick Puppy

Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publisher: Vintage Crime/Black Lizard
ISBN: 9780375412738
Format: PDF
Download Now
When Palmer Stoat notices the black pickup truck following him on the highway, he fears his precious Range Rover is about to be carjacked. But Twilly Spree, the man tailing Stoat, has vengeance, not sport-utility vehicles, on his mind. Idealistic, independently wealthy and pathologically short-tempered, Twilly has dedicated himself to saving Florida's wilderness from runaway destruction. He favors unambiguous political statements -- such as torching Jet-Skis or blowing up banks -- that leave his human targets shaken but re-educated. After watching Stoat blithely dump a trail of fast-food litter out the window, Twilly decides to teach him a lesson. Thus, Stoat's prized Range Rover becomes home to a horde of hungry dung beetles. Which could have been the end to it had Twilly not discovered that Stoat is one of Florida's cockiest and most powerful political fixers, whose latest project is the "malling" of a pristine Gulf Coast island. Now the real Hiaasen-variety fun begins . . . Dognapping eco-terrorists, bogus big-time hunters, a Republicans-only hooker, an infamous ex-governor who's gone back to nature, thousands of singing toads and a Labrador retriever greater than the sum of his Labrador parts -- these are only some of the denizens of Carl Hiaasen's outrageously funny new novel. Brilliantly twisted entertainment wrapped around a powerful ecological plea, Sick Puppy gleefully lives up to its title and gives us Hiaasen at his riotous and muckraking best. BONUS: This edition includes an excerpt from Carl Hiaasen's Bad Monkey.

Stormy Weather

Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publisher: Vintage Crime/Black Lizard
ISBN: 0307767418
Format: PDF, ePub
Download Now
When a ferocious hurricane rips through southern Florida, the con artists and carpetbaggers waste no time in swarming over the disaster area. Among the predators are Edie Marsh, an entrepreneurial young woman whose scheme to sleep with a Palm Beach Kennedy has fizzled, freezing her to concoct a colossal insurance rip-off; Lester Maddox Parsons, a murderous ex-con whose violent encounter with a game warden has left him with the fitting name of “Snapper”; and Avila, a crooked building inspector-turned-roofer who dabbles somewhat unsuccessfully in the occult. Caught in the middle are Max and Bonnie Lamb, newlyweds torn in wildly different directions by the storm. It is Max’s fateful decision to abort their Disney World honeymoon and race to Dade County to see the terrible devastation. Armed with a video camera, the ambitious young advertising executive can’t wait to show his hurricane tapes to his buddies back in New York. Over Bonnie’s objections, Max eagerly sets out through the rubble, debris and mayhem—and promptly vanishes. The only clue to his whereabouts: a runaway monkey. The only person who can help Bonnie’s search: a mysterious young man with a tranquilizer gun and a roomful of human skulls. But there’s also a man called Skink who has devoted his very strange existence to saving Florida from the kinds of people blown in by the hurricane. It is he, crazed and determined, who prowls the swath of the storm and forever changes the lives of Max, Bonnie, Edie and the others. Their paths—tangled before they even know it—come together in a novel that continues the hilarious and scathing muckraking tradition that Carl Hiaasen has so mercilessly made his own. In Stormy Weather, there is no calm eye. BONUS: This edition includes an excerpt from Carl Hiaasen's Bad Monkey.

Pilgrim in the Land of Alligators

Author: Jeff Klinkenberg
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780813036946
Format: PDF, Mobi
Download Now
Bronze Medal, Nonfiction, Florida Book Awards Praise for Jeff Klinkenberg "A skilled writer, he knows when to listen and when to nudge each short story along."--Publishers Weekly "Klinkenberg uncovers the beauty and mystery of his home state."--Southern Living "If Jeff Klinkenberg isn't careful," says Carl Hiaasen, "he might give journalism a good name." Praise for Pilgrim in the Land of Alligators "Another entry in [Klinkenberg's] 'Real Florida' crusade against anything false and manufactured with the stench of a theme park attached."--Creative Loafing "A great introduction to one of the state's finest writers."--South Florida Sun-Sentinel "Gracefully written, endlessly entertaining . . . a gift for all who love the real Florida"--St. Petersburg Times Florida native Jeff Klinkenberg grew up in Miami, began working in newspapers at age sixteen, and has been writing for the St. Petersburg Times since 1977. He is the only two-time winner of the Paul Hansell Distinguished Journalism Award, the highest honor given by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. He is also the author of Seasons of Real Florida.

It Wasn t My Fault

Author: Helen Lester
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
ISBN: 0544003233
Format: PDF, Kindle
Download Now
When accidents happen to Murdley Gurdson, they are usually his own fault, but when a bird lays an egg on Murdley's head one day, he tries hard to find someone else to blame.

Skinny Dip

Author: Carl Hiaasen
Publisher: Vintage Crime/Black Lizard
ISBN: 110197303X
Format: PDF, Mobi
Download Now
Ex-police officer Mick Stranahan rescues a woman from the ocean. Joey Perrone's husband tried to kill her by pushing her overboard from a cruise liner because he suspected that she had figured out his scam of doctoring water samples so that a ruthless agribusiness tycoon can illegally dump fertilizer into the endangered Everglades. Mick helps Joey haunt and taunt her homicidal husband.