People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Author: Jen Mann
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0345549988
Format: PDF, Docs
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NATIONAL BESTSELLER A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Advance praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear From the Trade Paperback edition.

People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Author: Jen Mann
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 034554983X
Format: PDF, Kindle
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The author offers her witty, acerbic observation on life in suburban America, taking on topics like marriage, motherhood, and neighborhood politics.

Working with People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Author: Jen Mann
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781944123062
Format: PDF, Mobi
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If you've ever toiled away in a cubicle or sat through the third meeting your boss scheduled to plan another meeting, then you can relate to this book. This is the third book in Jen Mann's New York Times best-selling People I Want to Punch in the Throat series and it will not disappoint This is the book you'll want to accidentally on purpose leave on the desk of that blowhard in marketing. This is the book you'll just happen to drop next the microwave in the break room hoping that Jan in accounting reads it before she reheats last night's smelly leftovers for lunch. This is the book you'll mail anonymously to your micromanaging boss with certain passages highlighted. The Punch List: Company-wide happy hours. I barely want to work with you. I definitely don't want to have a beer with you. The Ivy Leaguers. You do know every sentence doesn't have to start with, "When I was at Princeton..."? The martyrs. You get sick days-use one. Stop dragging your sniffling, snorting, coughing, sneezing ass to work and infecting the rest of us. You're not that important. Advance Praise for Working with People I Want to Punch in the Throat: "I'm grateful to all of the people Jen Mann writes about in this book-the condescending managers, undermining editors, the plastic surgeon who helpfully offered free operations during a job interview, and the boss who fired her with a Post-It Note-because they made her into the rage-filled writer we all know and love." - Jancee Dunn, author of How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids "I connected with Jen Mann's book more deeply than I'm comfortable with. It was brilliant and gross and hilarious and heartwarming and then hilarious again. I literally couldn't put it down. For what it's worth, the only book before this one that I read in one sitting without a break was Dances with Wolves. Don't judge me." - James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn), author of Only Dead on the Inside: A Parent's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse

My Lame Life

Author: Jen Mann
Publisher:
ISBN: 0988408082
Format: PDF
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New York Times bestselling author Jen Mann has written a funny and heartwarming story for fans of Meg Cabot and Rainbow Rowell. My name is Plum Parrish, I’m fourteen, and I’m pretty sure I’m invisible. Not like super power invisible, more like loser invisible. There’s a big difference. I live with my dad who doesn’t realize that a job transfer to Kansas is not a promotion; my s’mother who thinks journaling, cheesy inspo slogans, and mani-pedis can solve my problems; and my twin brother Pax who is so perfect I’m convinced we share absolutely no DNA. Unfortunately, I’m not invisible to them. I love them, but they embarrass me on the daily. Honestly, they would probably say the same about me, because I’m weird, sarcastic, and just a lot. My best friend is ghosting me, and my other best friend is a teacher. The move to Kansas is my opportunity to reinvent myself and embrace my a lot-ness (yes, that is too a word). Sure, I will literally have to battle a live bat, a Queen Bee, and my unruly hair, but I will find my tribe and own who I am.

I Just Want to Pee Alone

Author: Jen People I Want to Punch in the Throat
Publisher: Throat_punch Books
ISBN: 9780988408036
Format: PDF
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Subtitle on cover: A collection of hilarious essays about motherhood.

Science of Parenthood

Author: Norine Dworkin-McDaniel
Publisher: She Writes Press
ISBN: 163152948X
Format: PDF, Mobi
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Based on Norine Dworkin-McDaniel and Jessica Ziegler’s popular illustrated humor blog, Science of Parenthood: Thoroughly Unscientific Explanations for Utterly Baffling Parenting Situations takes the duo’s mix of high-brow science and low-brow humor to a whole new level. Using their trademark brand of quirky, witty humor, and bolstered by their signature cartoons, Dworkin-McDaniel and Ziegler dig deep into the core sciences—biology, chemistry, physics and mathematics—to help moms and dads everywhere solve for “y.” As in, “Y” is my child doing that . . . that . . . THING? And please, dear lord, is there a way to make them stop!? Anyone who’s ever wondered why the kid who plays Minecraft for hours can’t sit still for ten damn minutes to finish a math worksheet; who’s marveled at how their toddler always picks the most inopportune moment to poop; or who’s despaired of ever showering, sleeping, or finding a moment’s peace again will find this book a hilarious, enlightening, and relatable read.

The Big Book of Parenting Tweets

Author: Jessica Ziegler
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781503189553
Format: PDF, Kindle
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"The perfect book for parents who want -- NEED -- to laugh, but don't have time to sit down and read a daunting book. Grab it, head to the bathroom and lock the door until they find you!" - Jill Smokler, author of"Confessions of a Scary Mommy" "The Big Book of Parenting Tweets dishes up bite-size nuggets of funny. Impossible to read just one." - Jen Mann, author of"People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges" This book is HILARIOUS. Being a parent is a frustrating, hilarious, weird, wild experience. This book captures some of the best of our snark. You need it. You do. - Nikki Knepper, author of"Moms Who Drink and Swear" A terrific read, featuring some of the funniest (and most honest) parents in the Twitterverse... my go-to gift for new parents! - Johanna Stein, author of "How Not To Calm A Child On A Plane and Other Parenting Advice from a Questionable Source" Twitter isn't just for breaking news and celebrity stalking-it's also a goldmine of the funniest comedy online. Jokes? People tell jokes on Twitter? YES, they do. And they are hilarious ... but who wants to sift through the hashtags, RTs and FFs to get to the good stuff? WE GET IT! Parents don't have time for all that. That's why the duo behind the illustrated humor blog Science of Parenthood teamed up with Twitter maven Kate Hall of Hall of Tweets to create The Big Book of Parenting Tweets -a laugh-riot collection of more than three-hundred tweetable moments straight from the parenting trenches from the most hysterical comedians on Twitter, who just happen to be parents. Here is just a peek at some of what you'll find inside: My 4yo is trying to sell my own M&M's back to me. This guy's going places.- @FatherWithTwins With my wife away, my children keep asking me for things like meals and bandaids and sympathy, but I don't know where we keep any of that.- @KalvinMacleod She took 4 y/o to the park & texted "Can I get her ice-cream?" Get her a Heineken for all I care. Free babysitters get to call the shots.- @BunmiLaditan I wish bottles of ibuprofen came with a little prize inside, like maybe a babysitter.- @SuburbanSnaps To anyone out there thinking about having kids, today my 2yo threw a temper tantrum because she couldn't get rid of her shadow. - @XplodingUnicorn Peppered with cartoons by Science of Parenthood, The Big Book of Parenting Tweets is the perfect gift for every over-worked, under-showered, sleep-deprived parent who could use a quick laugh, because who has time for more?

Let s Pretend This Never Happened

Author: Jenny Lawson
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101573082
Format: PDF, Mobi
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The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside

You re Not Pretty Enough

Author: Jennifer Tress
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780989481700
Format: PDF, Kindle
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"Told chronologically and chock full of truths, 'You're Not Pretty Enough' provides an example of how to be comfortable in your own skin and ultimately live a full life (even if you screw up, royally, along the way)."--P [4] of cover.

We Learn Nothing

Author: Tim Kreider
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439198713
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
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A New York Times political cartoonist and writer presents a collection of his most popular essays and drawings about life and government hypocrisy, exploring the darkly comic aspects of such topics as falling in love with unlikeable people, managing a friend with outspoken political views and reacting to a long acquaintance's sex-change operation. By the creator of The Pain--When Will It End?