Texts from Dog

Author: October Jones
Publisher: HMH
ISBN: 0544080068
Format: PDF, Docs
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He’s a dog with a phone . . . My dog sends me texts. Yeah. It’s weird. When October Jones figured out he could send text messages to himself on his mobile phone, he naturally decided that the best use of this discovery was to send passive-aggressive messages to himself under the guise of his bulldog. And so the exasperating, slightly delusional, and utterly endearing Dog and his alter-ego, BatDog, were born. Texts from Dog features Dog’s attempts to keep the neighborhood safe from the likes of Mr. Postman and his arch-nemesis Cat-Cat—he has managed to only smash three TVs and a patio door in the process. And in between crime fighting sprees and run-ins with the squirrel mafia, there are romantic interludes with pillows, fetch sessions gone terribly awry, and the abusive banter only a bromance between man and his text-savvy dog can spawn. For those of us who have ever had a conversation with a pet in our heads, Texts from Dog will make you laugh out loud and perhaps even make you think twice about leaving your pet home alone for the day.

Texts from Mittens

Author: Angie Bailey
Publisher: Harlequin
ISBN: 1460380800
Format: PDF, Docs
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Texts from Mittens is a series of text message conversations between a snappy, self-absorbed housecat named Mittens and his long-suffering human, a single woman who works away from home during the day. Mittens relentlessly hassles his human all day long, while only taking breaks to watch Judge Judy, hang with his best friend Stumpy, complain about the antics of Drunk Patty the neighbor, ask Grandma for money to buy useless items from QVC, and harass the "filthy beast" dog, Phil. Angie Bailey is an award-winning writer and blogger, humorist, and professional member of the Cat Writers' Association. Her primary blog, Catladyland, has won many awards, and her humor writing is featured nearly daily on Catster.com, one of the most popular cat sites on the Web. She loves to photograph her cats in silly poses and sleeps with one eye open. And yes, she has three cats. "Each installment of Texts From Mittens is like a little gift to brighten your day!" —Kate Benjamin, Hauspanther founder and co-author of Catification with Jackson Galaxy "Texts From Mittens makes me wish my cat had thumbs! This is a hilarious book; Angie Bailey has done it again!" —Jeremy Greenberg, Author of Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed "We all knew that cats were hilarious, but Ms. Bailey's sardonic cat quips really take their mannerisms, attitude and occasional apathy to another level." —Susan Michals, Curator of Cat Art Show Los Angeles Come home! There's an emergency! What?? Are you OK? My dish is half empty! I'll be home soon. You wish starvation upon me! Stop being dramatic. Am weeak. Caan hasrdly tyyppe. Are you going to wear those black pants on your bed? Yes. I have a date. They're comfortable. Mittens, get off my pants! FYI: Poly-blend makes your butt look big

Peanut Butter Dogs

Author: Greg Murray
Publisher: Gibbs Smith
ISBN: 1423646665
Format: PDF, ePub
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The perfect gift for any dog-lover, and a must-have for any dog owner; no bones about it, these Peanut Butter Dogs will make your day. Yorkies, Retrievers, Pit Bulls, Great Danes, French Bulldogs, and more! This winsome collection of photographs covers more than 140 lovable pups, most of them rescues, in expressions of peanut butter bliss. Names, ages, and brief bios of each dog accompany their portraits. Greg Murray is an award-winning photographer and rescue animal advocate. His work has been featured in Huffington Post, Daily Mail UK, Mirror UK, Fox News Network, Cleveland NBC, CBS & FOX, Cleveland Magazine, Cleveland.com, Buzzfeed, USA Today and various other media outlets throughout the world. He lives in Ohio, with his wife and their two rescue dogs.

Dog Shaming

Author: Pascale Lemire
Publisher: Three Rivers Press (CA)
ISBN: 0385349343
Format: PDF, Docs
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Based on the web phenomenon Dogshaming and containing photos that are all-new and exclusive to the book, this hilarious album showcases adorable snapshots of shamed pups confessing their biggest - and grossest - sins.

A Calendar of Wisdom

Author: Leo Tolstoy
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439130957
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
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This is the first-ever English-language edition of the book Leo Tolstoy considered to be his most important contribution to humanity, the work of his life's last years. Widely read in prerevolutionary Russia, banned and forgotten under Communism; and recently rediscovered to great excitement, A Calendar of Wisdom is a day-by-day guide that illuminates the path of a life worth living with a brightness undimmed by time. Unjustly censored for nearly a century, it deserves to be placed with the few books in our history that will never cease teaching us the essence of what is important in this world.

Crusoe the Celebrity Dachshund

Author: Ryan Beauchesne
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
ISBN: 1466886021
Format: PDF
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What?! You've never heard of Crusoe the celebrity dachshund?! You must be living under a rock! ... Or at least that's what Crusoe thinks. He's the self-proclaimed "wiener dog who thinks he's more of a celebrity than he really is" (until now!). Crusoe is the star of his wildly popular blog of the same name, winner of the 2013 AND 2014 Best Pet Blog Award. That's right... two years in a row! Because Crusoe is a talented and ridiculously photogenic miniature dachshund with a big personality, stunning fashion sense, and an insatiable penchant for whimsy. Perhaps you know him better by his infamous alter ego, BATDOG? We thought so. This is Crusoe's New York Times bestselling book debut and he's so excited to share it with all of his adoring fans. Now everyone can stare lovingly into his big brown eyes and admire his wit and many costumes any time they choose. Crusoe is certain that his book will make the perfect gift for dog-lovers of all ages. He wants to be accessible to his fans so you can really get to know the mutt behind the mask, the pooch behind that signature sexy pout; the pup with a heart of gold. Can't miss Crusoe Features in the Book: The adventures of BATDOG and Robin Cooking with Crusoe Dr. Crusoe, the Dentist, and Malpractice International travels with the worldliest of adventure dogs Partners in crime with Crusoe and twin brother Oakley

Heart of a Dog

Author: Mikhail Bulgakov
Publisher: Grove/Atlantic, Inc.
ISBN: 0802190030
Format: PDF, Docs
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I first read Mikhail Bulgakov's The Master and Margarita on a balcony of the Hotel Metropole in Saigon on three summer evenings in 1971. The tropical air was heavy and full of the smells of cordite and motorcycle exhaust and rotting fish and wood-fire stoves, and the horizon flared ambiguously, perhaps from heat lightning, perhaps from bombs. Later each night, as was my custom, I would wander out into the steamy back alleys of the city, where no one ever seemed to sleep, and crouch in doorways with the people and listen to the stories of their culture and their ancestors and their ongoing lives. Bulgakov taught me to hear something in those stories that I had not yet clearly heard. One could call it, in terms that would soon thereafter gain wide currency, "magical realism". The deadpan mix of the fantastic and the realistic was at the heart of the Vietnamese mythos. It is at the heart of the present zeitgeist. And it was not invented by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, as wonderful as his One Hundred Years of Solitude is. Garcia Marquez's landmark work of magical realism was predated by nearly three decades by Bulgakov's brilliant masterpiece of a novel. That summer in Saigon a vodka-swilling, talking black cat, a coven of beautiful naked witches, Pontius Pilate, and a whole cast of benighted writers of Stalinist Moscow and Satan himself all took up permanent residence in my creative unconscious. Their presence, perhaps more than anything else from the realm of literature, has helped shape the work I am most proud of. I'm often asked for a list of favorite authors. Here is my advice. Read Bulgakov. Look around you at the new century. He will show you things you need to see.

WeRateDogs

Author: Matt Nelson
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing Inc.
ISBN: 1510717153
Format: PDF, Docs
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The ultimate book for our obsession with dogs on social media! “Over-the-top and hilarious.” —Barkpost Based on the Twitter and Instagram sensation, #WeRateDogs features the most heroic, over-the-top adorable, wildly successful, all-around entertaining dogs the world has ever seen! It combines extraordinary photos with ridiculous captions to expand the knowledge and overall lives of its readers. It is not only an exceptionally reliable source for dog greatness, it is also a one stop shop for happiness. This book takes readers on a journey through the strict science of dog rating and the unwavering rules associated with it. Questioning the accuracy of these ratings is ill-advised. They are certainly not arbitrary and this book is absolutely not just about how cute dogs are. It truly is all about precision and ethics in dog rating. The #WeRateDogs book will produce an audible reaction with every flip of the page—whether a groan from a terrible pupper pun or an “aww” of seeing a super floofer. If #WeRateDogs takes you away from reality and pushes you into this conglomerate of absurdity for even a second, then it has fulfilled its purpose.

Awkward Family Photos

Author: Mike Bender
Publisher: Three Rivers Press
ISBN: 0307592286
Format: PDF, ePub
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With twenty-five new photographs for the eBook edition, the New York Times bestseller is now more awkward than ever Based on the hit website, AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com (“painful, regrettable, horrifyingly awesome snaps of family bonding, you will laugh so hard that people in adjoining offices will ask what’s wrong with you”—Esquire), this full color book features never-before-seen photos and hilarious personal stories covering everything from uncomfortable moments with relatives, teen angst, sibling rivalry, and family vacations from hell. Cringe at the forced poses, bad hair, and matching outfits--all prompting us to look at our own families and celebrate the fact that we're not alone. Nothing says awkward better than an uncomfortable family photograph!

You Had One Job

Author: Beverly L. Jenkins
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449480691
Format: PDF, ePub
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If someone hangs a stop sign upside down or paints crooked lines on a highway, count on someone else to snap a photo and post it online. You Had One Job! is a collection of hilarious pictures features job-related disasters and general ineptitudes. All of these new, never-before-seen images will be accompanied by witty captions.