This Book Is Full of Spiders

Author: David Wong
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 1250017904
Format: PDF, Docs
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From the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes. WARNING: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR. You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection -- the creature secretes a chemical into the brain to stimulate skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You can't see it, because it decides what you see. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed. So what happens when your family, friends and neighbors get mind-controlling skull spiders? We're all about to find out. Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking.

John Dies at the End

Author: David Wong
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 031255513X
Format: PDF, Kindle
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A full-length tale based on the cult online serial by the editor-in-chief of Cracked.com finds an increasing number of people changed into threatening inhuman creatures by a hallucinogen, a situation that places the fate of the world in the hands of a pair of anti-heroes. 50,000 first printing.

What the Hell Did I Just Read

Author: David Wong
Publisher: John Dies at the End
ISBN: 1250040205
Format: PDF, Kindle
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It's the story "They" don't want you to read. Though, to be fair, "They" are probably right about this one. To quote the Bible, "Learning the truth can be like loosening a necktie, only to realize it was the only thing keeping your head attached." No, don't put the book back on the shelf -- it is now your duty to purchase it to prevent others from reading it. Yes, it works with e-books, too, I don't have time to explain how. While investigating a fairly straightforward case of a shape-shifting interdimensional child predator, Dave, John and Amy realized there might actually be something weird going on. Together, they navigate a diabolically convoluted maze of illusions, lies, and their own incompetence in an attempt to uncover a terrible truth they -- like you -- would be better off not knowing. Your first impulse will be to think that a story this gruesome -- and, to be frank, stupid -- cannot possibly be true. That is precisely the reaction "They" are hoping for. John Dies at the End's "smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next" (Publishers Weekly) and This Book is Full of Spiders was "unlike any other book of the genre" (Washington Post). Now, New York Times bestselling author David Wong is back with What the Hell Did I Just Read, the third installment of this black-humored thriller series.

Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits

Author: David Wong
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 1250040191
Format: PDF, Docs
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New York Times bestselling author David Wong takes readers to a whole new level with his latest darkly comic sci-fi thriller.

Mogworld

Author: Yahtzee Croshaw
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
ISBN: 1506706428
Format: PDF, Docs
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In a world full to bursting with would-be heroes, Jim couldn't be less interested in saving the day. His fireballs fizzle. He's awfully grumpy. Plus, he's been dead for about sixty years. When a renegade necromancer wrenches him from eternal slumber and into a world gone terribly, bizarrely wrong, all Jim wants is to find a way to die properly, once and for all. On his side, he's got a few shambling corpses, an inept thief, and a powerful death wish. But he's up against tough odds: angry mobs of adventurers, a body falling apart at the seams — and a team of programmers racing a deadline to hammer out the last few bugs in their AI. *Mogworld is the debut novel from video-game icon Yahtzee Croshaw (Zero Punctuation)! With an exclusive one-chapter preview of Yahtzee Croshaw's next novel, Jam—coming to bookstores in October 2012! *Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw's video review site, Zero Punctuation, receives over 2,500,000 unique hits a month, and has been licensed by G4 Television. *Yahtzee's blog receives about 150,000 hits per day. "The first legitimate breakout hit from the gaming community in recent memory." -Boing Boing

Jam

Author: Yahtzee Croshaw
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
ISBN: 150670641X
Format: PDF, Kindle
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We were prepared for an earthquake. We had a flood plan in place. We could even have dealt with zombies. Probably. But no one expected the end to be quite so... sticky... or strawberry scented. Yahtzee Croshaw (Mogworld, Zero Punctuation Reviews) returns to print with a follow-up to his smash-hit debut: Jam, a dark comedy about the one apocalypse no one predicted. * The hilarious new novel by the author of Mogworld! * Croshaw's Zero Punctuation Reviews is the most viewed video game review on the web! * For lovers of bizarre horror and unforgettable characters! "[Croshaw is] able to pull off slapstick comedy in print, and that's no easy feat." –ComicsAlliance

Will Save the Galaxy for Food

Author: Yahtzee Croshaw
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
ISBN: 1506701655
Format: PDF, ePub
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Space travel just isn't what it used to be. With the invention of Quantum Teleportation, space heroes aren't needed anymore. When one particularly unlucky ex-adventurer masquerades as famous pilot and hate figure Jacques McKeown, he's sucked into an ever-deepening corporate and political intrigue.

How to Fight Presidents

Author: Daniel O'Brien
Publisher: Three Rivers Press (CA)
ISBN: 038534757X
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
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Based on in-depth research and accompanied by informative illustrations, this hilarious history book collects the most wildest, manliest, interesting and badass facts about every U.S. president. Original. 25,000 first printing.

Cyclops Road

Author: Jeff Strand
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781539351696
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
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Evan Portin is at a sad, scary place in his life. While taking a long walk to compose himself and figure out where to go from here, he encounters a young woman being mugged in a park. When he tries to intervene, he discovers that she doesn't need his help. At all. Her name is Harriett. She is very, very good at defending herself. Everything she owns is in a large backpack. She's never seen a cell phone. She's never been in a car. She's never really ventured into the outside world. And she says she's traveling across the country to slay a Cyclops. She's crazy, right? Evan is not in the habit of hanging out with delusional women he's just met. On the other hand, it can't hurt to offer her a ride out of town. And maybe this insane journey is exactly what he needs... A brand new novel from the four-time Bram Stoker Award-nominated author of BLISTER, DWELLER, and WOLF HUNT. "Jeff Strand is a masterful storyteller. His writing is always fresh, compelling, funny, frightening, and inventive." -Jonathan Maberry, New York Times best-selling author of Patient Zero, Rot & Ruin and Mars One.

Apathy and Other Small Victories

Author: Paul Neilan
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
ISBN: 1429907347
Format: PDF, Kindle
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A scathingly funny debut novel about disillusionment, indifference, and one man's desperate fight to assign absolutely no meaning to modern life. The only thing Shane cares about is leaving. Usually on a Greyhound bus, right before his life falls apart again. Just like he planned. But this time it's complicated: there's a sadistic corporate climber who thinks she's his girlfriend, a rent-subsidized affair with his landlord's wife, and the bizarrely appealing deaf assistant to Shane's cosmically unstable dentist. When one of the women is murdered, and Shane is the only suspect who doesn't care enough to act like he didn't do it, the question becomes just how he'll clear the good name he never had and doesn't particularly want: his own. “The malaise of cubicle culture may be well-trodden comedic territory by now, but Neilan's debut skewers office life with a flourish for the grotesque.” —The Village Voice